Sunday, August 7, 2011

I'm addicted to risky behavior, is that normal?

I'm 17 and a senior in high school, although I am enrolled in a program called college connection where chosen seniors study full time at the local junior college and earn dual credits. It seems that each year, since I was 14, I have made a royal mistake. Freshman year - got caught belligerently drunk at a party, lied to the cops, had to get picked up. Sopre year - didn't do hardly any of the work in my AP cles, nearly failed. Junior year - got arrested for stealing bottles of alcohol from a convenient store and once I was nearly off restriction got caught smoking weed at school. Needless to say, I was grounded the remainder of the school year (4 extra months). Because of my prior infractions, I wasn't allowed to retain a driver's license, although summer 2010 I received a permit because of good behavior. Now senior year, my uncle gave me a car, I'm doing well in my cles, eligible to get a license in 4 days and my parents are going to allow me to, I just got a job, I have an enormous amount of freedom........ My stupidity tells me taking my car is a good idea because I have "no other" way of getting to my doctor's appointment. Unfortunately, I listen. Then I listen to the other voice in my head saying "hey lets go for a drive down this long, country road. No cops are ever out here." ... And then I listen to the voice saying "I know it's only 55, but lets go 70. No big deal. We'll just p these cars. Oh the ping lane is ending? Well looks like we'll have to get back over by crossing the double yellow." I know, I know, stupid. I've heard it enough today, I don't need to hear it again. Well apparently a CHP officer saw me, ran my plates, and saw the car was registered under my step dad's last name, who was a former police officer. He called my step dad, let him know what was up, and if he could write me up for wreckless driving. Fortunately, he didn't pull me over, unfortunately, my parents didn't let me off the hook. Can't say I don't deserve it. Is it just me, or do I seem to royally **** myself once things seem to be turning around and I start gaining some trust again? My question is, or I guess it's not as much of a question as it is me looking for some reurance, am I the anomally? Am I just a hell child? Or is it normal for adolescents and young adults on the brink of total freedom to behave this way?

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